October 22nd, 2005

Subject: I look at my bulletins of the past... Time: 11:55 pm

and think.. damn.. what was I on? cant change what i used to think about. i've made most of my entries private.

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January 14th, 2004

Subject: Ramble on cool cat Time: 03:38 am

Well well well. Today is the day. I fall asleep in a few, so before I begin to snooze I might as well type what is going on in the my mind on this very instant, this very time. Lets see, anything of interest? I guess not. I will write whatever pops up, like good ole days since the good ole days are gone. High school was fun, but its over. College is here, the rest of my life to come. Which road will I choose? Many paths lay ahead, am I taking the right one? well, its too late now. can't really stop the clock, turn it around, change back time. Can't bust a bitch in the middle of this path I chose. Why am I even updating here? I don't update here anymore. or so I thought, but I guess the fact that adolfo reminded me that I still own this account, so why not use it. Anyways, there are happy days, smiley days, happy days. good ole fashioned happy days. There are sadder days, but then comes saturday and things are better. I am here, typing. Room is a mess. Why am I here typing? 3:43 I should be sleeping. Or at least clean my room. TIME MANAGEMENT DAMN IT! It is rush rush rush. Zoom Zoom BEEP BEEP! and then the silenced middle finger, whom needs not say a thing as its gesture suggests vulgarity. Take time to slow down. Not every light is a green go. Sometimes it turns Red. Sometimes you gotta stop. But then, you can't always stay at Red. You can't always stay at Yellow, You can't always stay at Green. It varies and changes. It, which I just said, is redundant. Varies and changes? heh where did that come from. I'm driving the wrong way, I can't bust a bitch, but I'll take the next intersection and make a turn into the right direction. Stop staying at yellow damn it. Its not just Stop, its Not just Slow, Its not just Go. Its a lil of all. What the fuck is that all about? I dunno, dont ask. Mindless matter. My mind is less matter. My mind matters less. Matters are mindless. Less Mind matters. Matterlessm Minds. After all that it comes down to this. Hmm... -Noel

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January 12th, 2004

Subject: wow.. almost a year since my last update Time: 04:52 am

just update

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May 25th, 2002

Subject: The Strokes - Alone Together Time: 08:19 pm

No choice now it's too late Let him go, he gave up (I gave up) Lisa said "Take time for me" Dropping him down to his knees I chance down Take me away see I've got to explain Things they are changing in such a permanent way My life seems unreal, can we go back to your place Ah you drink too much, let me drink just the same People tried, felt so right Giving themselves good advice Looking down sometimes felt nice He knows it's just a fact to kill to survive He's earning dollars you won't get in your life Let's suck more blood, let's work 3 hours a day The world is over but I don't care cause... I am with you, now I've got to explain Things they have changed in such a permanent way Life seems unreal can we go back to your place You drink too much, makes me drink just the same The first time that I met your friends And the second time I thought it would last We all like it a little different

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April 5th, 2002

Subject: Microbursts and Star-storms Time: 12:56 am

--well.. i'm writing this lil... commentary after i finished the whole paragraphs to state that its been, as adolfo the great has specified, hard, tedious, and umm, somewhat, unwilling of me to update my journal. nonetheless, here it is. well... lets see... spring break has been nothing but typical days. days of the normal noel day. the usual minus the school and the school work that i do not do. typical in the ways of the computer being used an abused by me. typical of me being abused by my computer., A typical sceene. not very unsual. infact, call it unusual to find me not at the computer. yes, even in my room to sleep or write would be considered not normal. not normal indeed. i type this in my typical fashion. I've just finished a great movie. even much more greater then the matrix, or a time to kill, two movies of which i considered powerful and questioning. A beautiful mind be the name minus the quotes. it was just.. interesting. My last couple of nights would have been a bore if it had not been for me taking my walks at night. Walking at night isn't all that scary after a while. its like walking in the day, minus the day, people, and more crazies out there. streets are still empty as kids are still indoors. cars aren't on the road as much yet one would wizz by every so often. street lamps are on. dim circles break the darkness in a fortified light. *nods* yes, its not much different. yesterday I walked over to pc cafe. about a 20 minute walk. I ran into the gang over there. the gang being carlos, juan, nestor, randall, reggie, gibran an burton. yup, as i was entering they were exiting. We said our hi's an good byes. then i engaged in a game of counterstrike. killed a lot, got killed a lot more. then i walked home, got stopped twice by two officers because of my youthfulness. ok, i look like i'm 12 and i'm wanderng the streets past midnight, is that any reason to stop me on the same street 2x? 2x differnt cops of course, still! walked to 7-11 bought me a slurpy and some chips. walked home and stayed up again til 6:00 today where then i was waken up at 10:00 cause i had to clean. Mom came and life went back to typical. *sigh* no more midnightwalks? i could leave right now, she is asleep, but always that... theres that... i'm lost my words, that...... threat? that... paranoia of being caught. not a good sight... rather would avoid then be apart of it. so yes.. tommorrow, well later on today i subject myself to cleaning my uuniform and polishing my boots. yup... the long awaited drill.. cant wait. well. off to the world of typical again. until then, *nods*

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March 29th, 2002

Current Music: Flogging Molly - 03 The Worst Day Since Yesterday Subject: Wheres the rain? Time: 12:31 pm Current Mood: gloomy

Clouds and no rain. Sadness with no tears.

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Subject: Typical Time: 12:03 pm

Everything is so typical. Today is typical. Life is just so typical. Hmm.. Today is a day. Sad and depressing. Its white outside. The sky is so white. so pale. so sad. Just looking at it through the curtains of covered windows is depressing. Everything seen is depressing. Depressing. The tv, same old reruns. News reports of violent acts. Paper cluttered on desk shows laziness. Uselessness. The how is a mess. Ugliness. The walls are white, but plain except for the complimentary webs the spiders leave behind after they die. The carpet is vaccummed. Dust lingers everywhere. In the air it floats. Settles on everything. Moved by everything. Sad thing is I watch it. Minutes go by. No silence cause of the confusion. Yet in all the madness the dust seems to just drift around. Drift around not caring where it goes, where it lands, where it blows. Apathetic toward all. It gives you a cold and it dont care. It didnt mean to or anything. but if u got it then it dont matter. whatever is its attitude. whatever.

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March 25th, 2002

Subject: More Time: 09:39 pm

I missed the last bus, I'll take the next train I try but you see, it's hard to explain I say the right things, but act the wrong way I like it right here, but I cannot stay I watch the TV; forget what I'm told Well, I am too young, and they are too old The joke is on you, this place is a zoo "You're right it's true"

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Subject: Strokes Time: 09:38 pm

I say the right things but act the wrong way I like it right here but I cannot stay I watch the TV; forget what I'm told Well, I am too young, and they are too old Oh, man, can't you see I'm nervous, so please Pretend to be nice, so I can be mean I miss the last bus, we take the next train I try but you see, it's hard to explain

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Subject: rambled Time: 09:27 pm

see a rock. a pepple perhaps. kick it. it flies away. against the wind it goes. into a tree trunk it collides. dust lingers in the still air. lands on the floor. bounces a bit. stops. still. kick it again. into the water it falls. a lake. it sinks. down it goes down. into the algae. into the dirt. into the mud. buried. drowning. settles there.

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March 24th, 2002

Subject: Soma Time: 04:03 pm

Soma is what they would take when Hard times opened their eyes Saw pain in a new way High stakes for a few names Racing against sun beams Losing against fig trees In your eyes And I am Stop And go In your eyes See I am Stop And go In your eyes Let's go When I saw her for the first time Lips moved as her eyes closed Heard something in his voice "And I'll be there", he says Then he walks out Somehow he was trying Too hard to be like them Well I am Stop And go In your eyes And I am Stop Oh, darling, let me go Tried it once and they like it Then tried to hide it Says, "I've been doing this 25 years" But I'm not listening no more And these friends, they keep asking for more Oh, yeah Oh, but that's it

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March 20th, 2002

Subject: Passed by Time: 11:40 pm

Starting point. All runners take your mark. Get set. GO! Late start. Race goes on. Running fast. Trying to keep up. Losing it. Catch back up. Catching up. Almost there. Passed by. They move in groups. Pair off later. Leave you in thier dust. The agony of defeat makes sense. On the medal stand. Contries watch. You are forgotten. Loser.

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March 17th, 2002

Subject: Turn around Time: 08:09 pm

The emptiness inside of me fills me with apathy. Emptiness is empty, and therefore can not fill correct? So how is my statement legit. Like saying nothing is something and something is nothing. Nothing is something while something can be nothing. In value, as mark the great debater alicando put it, nothing is not something but it is something. And it is true. If something has no value then it is nothing, or zero, which is something. A label at the very least. and serving as a lable gives it a purpose. Having a purpose means it is something. So nothing is something. Silence can't fill itself. It is silence and therefor can not fill itself because it is full of what it is. Never miss a chance to shut up means don't talk ever. Umm... losing it. Clock wheels turn. Hands tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock goes the clock. Strike 12 strike one. Batteries ruun out. It runs no more. No where is somewhere. Just apply the same principle to nothing is something. or is it? Is nowhere somewhere? Can someone be nowhere? No, cause someone is always somewhere no matter what. So no one is nowhere. Just like someone can not not have nothing. double negative. someone can have not have nothing. they always have something. even in death they have death. in life they have life. No one has nothing. Theres a triangle. Three points. Twirling. Fast. Fast. Spinning fast. It spins so u can see its flat surface. its spinning gives it the look of a circle. It stops spinning. You have a trianle again. A cube. Turn it about and u have different shapes. Sqares. rhombus. diamonds. hexagon. dip it into whater. the tip is gone. its a pentagon. dip it somemore. half of it is gone. you have triangles. more perspectively, you have a piramid. it sinks. you have nothing. So many ways to describe a circle. but i wont.

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March 14th, 2002

Subject: Dry spell Time: 09:22 pm Current Mood: annoyed

Look up into the sky, in the clouds I see you. disfigured shapes fly through the vast blue. feel your rain patter me. all I give are cold shivers. and to the sea I see debris flowing out in rivers. lightning crawls over head. lightening up all the rain into light bulbs and I shed my eyes, black blotches remain. blinded now, dazed confused hear thunder crack, it whipped distraught, amused, abused, deafened, senses stripped. Nothing but night. I finally have a view stars shining bright. visions of you. A star way up there vibrantly gleaming your radiant light So hard is it to not stare as the urge is too much to fight. Gleam up there then I jolt You shock my every second spare With a thousand volts. Day begins a new I sit and watch the sun rise. on the hill, cold and blue waiting for the sun to bake me. Can't seem to concentrate. Lost it, cant think. babble. babble is what that be. meaningless babble

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March 12th, 2002

Subject: fire fire fire Time: 11:03 pm

fire near my house so close to home threatening. fire burns. ashes fly. embers glow. people cry. everyone out. out and about. out to watch. out to see what is happening. everyone is nosy, fire fire. my window shows. a house. on fire through the window. flashing lights. smoke rises blows to the north. the wind blows north. carries the smoke. ashes and embers fly with it. fly with it. fly with it. fly with it. cars slow down. take a detour. stop to watch. big heavy hose. water flowing. flooding. leaking. fire dies. house is left. left a mess. embers glow. glow a vibrant orange. vibrant. everyone leaves. flashes disappear. disappear in the distance. a family left. left to scavage through the embers and ashes. There was a fire near my house tonight. You could see it through my bedroom window. my bed a perfect seat. a house blocked half of it, but the flames were high. so close it was. next block. so much smoke. so much ash. so much smoke. so much embers. so much smoke. so much fire. so much. just so much. so sad. but so glad. so glad its not me. or family.

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March 11th, 2002

Subject: You... Time: 10:35 pm

take yourself away from me leave my troubled heart alone for i am weak as you can see and you do with a heart of stone.

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March 10th, 2002

Subject: Swordfish Time: 04:05 pm

Well, I just finished watching sword fish. I liked the movie, but its not as good as the matrix or anything. Lots of terms I knew, others I didn't. Still, kick ass movie none the less.

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March 9th, 2002

Subject: Just got the LiveJournal Client Time: 11:10 pm

Well, finally got the client for live journal that allows you to update without going to the site. kick ass. now idont have to use a seperate browser...

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March 3rd, 2002

Subject: Caged Time: 12:42 am

A door 2 inches tall. Locked. A man in a cell. Gaunt. Sits on a stool. Writes in a journal. on the walls. on himself. Reads a book. Lost in his own world. Lost in the book. Lost in imagination. Can't find his way out. Words are more then just words. Some how they become real. The words create his world. A new world. A world realer than the one he used to know. Pollution. Smog. Death. Destruction. Greed. Suffering. Hunger. Destruction Destruction Destruction. Pain and suffering. Anger. Frustration. DEATH. Depression. Guys trying to impress girls. Girls trying to impress guys. People using people. Dieing. Graves shoveled. Births. Babies born to die. Everyone born to die. Guys depressed. Girls depressed. Materialist, Realist, Pessimist. Danger. Everywhere. Dirt. Television. The man woke up sad when he realized it was all just a dream. He woke up to his world. A world of flying ponies. Wolves that stole the sun. Chickens hit by falling sky. Talking pigs. What a world he lived in. How he wished he lived in his dream world.

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February 28th, 2002

Subject: Somewhere... Time: 08:06 pm

A man is vomiting in a toilet. An animal is shot for game. Ants are trampled under foot. Chimney's swept, out goes the soot. Grass grows, wavers in the wind, washed by the wet dew that grows like mold on it. Cows are awake. Cows are asleep. Someone is raped. Someone hit by a car, another suicide. A new swims through the opening. Follows the light. Crys. Wonderful sight? Counterstrike is played. Video games corrupt. TV is on. Someone is driving. rain falls. deserts sit. clouds drift. birds chirp. coo coo. fires burn. houses invaded. stars glimmer. food burned. someone wakes up. someone sleeps. someone does drugs. another wastes time on the net.

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